A Post About a Little Girl and Down Syndrome

As I have mentioned before my 1-year-old daughter, Arlet, has Down syndrome.

Before I proceed, yes my husband and I knew this before we adopted her and we would not trade her for the world. She is the happiest baby I know with a smile that can light up anyone's day and the biggest most beautiful brown eyes.

Each person with Down syndrome is different, but along with Down syndrome usually comes a variety of medical issues, both physically and mentally, that in-the-end affect each person developmentally.

One of the scariest health issues that comes along with this condition is heart problems. In fact, recent studies show that between 40-60% of children with Down syndrome have a variety of heart issues.

That is a lot of children.

Especially to a mother who worries every day for her little girl, hoping that she will grow up healthy and happy; with boundless and endless opportunities; with the ability to grow up and have a normal life, which includes a marriage a family; and that her syndrome never gets in the way of my baby's life.

And unfortunately, Arlet has a heart condition.

It is very small and minor, but to a mother it is anything but that; it is serious, scary, and stressful.

Luckily, it was caught early and Arlet is very young so she can recover quickly, but until my daughter has the operation to correct the issue and makes a full and healthy recovery, I will be a scared and a nervous wreck.

And yes, that is right, I said surgery. The s-word that no parent ever wants their child to experience. Even if it isn't as bad as it sounds.

So in exactly two weeks Wren and I will be driving our darling daughter to the hospital to have heart surgery. Arlet has a PDA (patent ductus arteriosus) which translates as a congenial heart disease that creates a dangerous connection between the aorta and the pulmonary artery in the heart. This needs to be corrected immediately to ensure 1) faster recovery and 2) as great health for our little girl as possible.

So we're preparing. We're preparing with doctors appointments, tons of prayer, hugs, family and friend support, and a lot more.

Because it's not easy.

And i'm scared. Very scared.

While I know the chance is miniscule that there will be complications, I cannot help but worry for my little girl because I love her so much. And that's what you do when you love someone, you worry.

And in the mean time, as usual, Arlet is happy and giggles and smiles as usual!

For some reason I have this feeling that she will go into the operating room in happy spirits full of glee with the biggest smile on her face.

That's my girl!

And I love her so much!

A Marriage FAQ

April 17th marks nine years that Wren and I have been married. In honor of this celebratory date, I will be posting quite a few blog posts centered around our marriage and the love we share for each other. Next up: a marriage FAQ.

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How did you meet your husband?I met Wren by coincidence when I was 17-years-old and he was 20-years-old. He came to my house to collect a check from my father, but my father was running late from a business meeting so I kept him company. We got into talking and discovered we had a lot in common. When it was time for Wren to leave he left and we didn't stay in contact for a couple months. Then, four months later, he called me and asked me out. Turns out he left his phone number on the receipt my dad had and my dad thought I knew about it and didn't bring it up to me! I said yes and we went on our first date three days later, and about every three days after that for six months until Wren proposed! We were married six months later on April 17th, 2004 and it has been a true fairytale since the day I met my Prince Charming.

When you met him, did you have any idea that you would marry him?
I met Wren one day and didn't see him for three months after that, so yes I did feel an attraction to him but it quickly faded. Once he called me and asked me on a date, though, and I heard his voice on the phone I was reminded once again why I liked this man: there was something about him that made me feel special and happy. After our first date, Wren kissed my on the cheek and as he drove away, I knew I was in love with this man that he would one day be my husband. As cheesy as it may sound, it was definitely love at first sight for Wren and me. Whenever I was with Wren I didn't want to leave him and whenever I wasn't with him I couldn't wait to be with him again. And I remember after our first date telling my mom, "I just know it, Mom, this is the man i'm going to marry." Our love was that real and our connection was that instant.

On some level, you essentially "grew up" along side of your husband. What have been the challenges that accompany that? Benefits?
Wren and I met and began a life together when we were very young, so it is correct that we grew up and matured together. There were definitely some struggles we faced, especially when we married because we had to go from kids to adults overnight. Suddenly there were questions like how are we going to pay the bills? and how are we going to balance college, work, and our marriage? But the beauty of this is that I wasn't alone or Wren wasn't alone, we were going through our struggles together as a team, as husband and wife, as one. And these struggles only brought us closer because they tested our marriage, tested our faith, and tested our honesty; but our struggles never tested our love and commitment to one another, though. The benefits definitely include having a strong marriage (because of all the conflicts we went through in the beginning), maturing faster, having more memories and years spent together, and so much more.

When did you two move in together? When did you get engaged and married?
Wren and I were engaged after exactly six months of courtship and married on our one year anniversary. It was on our wedding night that we moved in together. Many people find two things strange about this: 1) that we married so soon AND 2) that we moved in together after marriage (not before). Firstly, we were young and in-love and knew that marriage was the best step for our relationship. Secondly, Wren and I are strong believers that certain things should be saved for marriage, and one of those things is waiting until marriage to share a bedroom. That is what marriage is designed for and it has made our marriage so much more special.

Did your family and friends ever encourage you to date other people or slow down your relationship?
No, fortunately both sides of our family have been very supportive of our relationship from the very beginning.  It is evident to them how in love we are in-love with each other and have done everything to encourage our courtship and help our marriage from the very beginning. Maybe it's because both of our parents married young, maybe not, but we're very lucky to have such supporting, encouraging parents.

Do you think you missed anything by not dating heaps of people?
What is there to miss? I am very lucky to have found my soul mate at a very young age; someone who is nice, smart, loving, etc.. Meeting Wren saved me from a lot: heartbreak, a bad relationship, an experience with a bad guy, and more. So did I miss anything? No, I don't believe so.

The vast majority of relationships that begin at 17 do not end in marriage- despite what we may believe when we are 16. What advice may you give somebody who is interested in a long term relationship with someone they started dating while they were young?
The first and biggest piece of advice is to never give up. I know couples who go from so in-love to absolutely hating each other, and they are frustrated and hopeless so they do not work on their marriage. But if you don't work on your marriage how can you fix it? Also, make your marriage a priority everyday. Don't put your relationship off to the side because you have kids or because you are too tired to spend time together. Wren and I do this by spending at least an hour of alone time every day together; and even though it usually happens once the kids go bed it is so special for our relationship. Sometimes i'll wait and eat dinner with Wren once he comes home from work and the kids are asleep; other times we'll stay up late and read in bed together; sometimes we'll watch a movie together, it just depends. Also, kiss your husband good morning and goodnight everyday, and never go to bed angry with each other.

Our Love Story (Part 1)

April 17th marks nine years that Wren and I have been married. In honor of this celebratory date, I will be posting quite a few blog posts centered around our marriage and the love we share for each other. First up: how we met.

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Wren and I met in 2003 at my parent’s home in Provo, Utah. I was seventeen-years-old at the time, and was preparing to graduate from high school in the following weeks. On that very sunny day, Wren- who worked for his mother’s bookstore- came to collect money from my parents for a book my father bought at her store. My parents had gone out for lunch, which left me home alone for the afternoon. To make matters worse, Wren was a day early and neither of my parents had warned me he was coming ahead of schedule. At 1pm the door rang. I ran to answer it, not sure who it could be. It was Sunday, which meant all the mailmen and delivery men were off, and no one in my family ever bothered to knock, they just came on in. So imagine my surprise when I, dressed in my pink polk-a-dot flannels with messy hair, walked down stairs and opened the door to a very handsome man standing in the doorway. I was shocked, dumbfounded for that matter, at not only my appearance, but at the man that was standing at my doorstep. 

“Hello, I’m Wren Kingston… from Cozy Corner Books. I’m here to collect a check for a book bought by someone at this address,” said a 5’11 man, about my age, with curly, dark brown hair and green eyes in a very charming voice. Better yet, he had an English accent. I thought for sure I was seeing Prince Charming.

I invited him to come inside while I called my father to ask him about the check. Admittedly, while I was on the phone with him, I brushed my teeth and combed my hair- attempting to present myself a bit nicer. Then I went downstairs and brought him a glass of water. It was no doubt that he was hot from these late summer temperatures. “My dad forgot you were coming today. He’s sorry. He’s going to pay the bill at the restaurant he’s eating at right now, then head on over. He said you can wait here. It shouldn’t take more than twenty minutes,” I said. Please stay. Please stay, I thought to myself, Who are you? How haven’t I met you before?

To my wishes, he stayed. We got into talking while he sat and waited for my father. As it turns out, we had A LOT in common. We both come from medium/largish sized families (he has four brothers, I have four sisters), we are both Mormon (that’s a big “shocker” considering we lived in Provo), and we were both either done with high school or about to graduate. Wren, who had just returned from a 2-year mission in South Africa, had also gone to the same (very large) high school that I went to, but graduated two years before me. He said he’d heard of me, and even remembered me from the yearbook, and I was very sad I couldn’t say the same. It then came up that we were both single, but we quickly changed the conversation to something else.

Thirty minutes later, my dad arrived home, paid Wren, and then went to his office to work, unaware that I had just met the man of my dreams. I was a little bit sad that the one person who made my weekend interesting was leaving- especially because there was so much we had in common- but I quickly walked him to the door and said goodbye.

It wasn’t until he left that this wave of feeling had entered my body, telling me that this guy was special, and that I’d possibly want to see more of him. I thought about him for the rest of the day, smiling over the details of the day we shared, but questioning if I’d ever see him again. I wanted to call him, but decided not to make the first move. If Wren has any interest in me, he will make the first move, I thought to myself, secretly hoping that he would indeed make the first move.

But he didn’t. He never called. I was gloomy for the first couple of days after our first initial meeting, but quickly forgot about him and continued with life as normal. Then one day, that all changed. It was my sister's birthday, and everyone had gathered at my home to celebrate. We were eating cake and all sharing our favorite childhood memory we shared with my sister, when the phone rang… it was for me.

“Who is it”, I asked my older sister who had answered the phone.

“Well, well, well! It’s someone named Wren,” she said in a teasing voice, “Who is this Wren we have never heard anything about?” And then, right then, I knew asking her who was on the phone was a big mistake. Immediately all my family and friends gathered around the phone, teasing me and making jokes.

“Oh, it’s… it’s no one,” I said, “I’ll just take this call in my room!” I took the phone to my room, thank goodness for the invention of cordless phones, and nervously sat down on my bed. I know one Wren, I thought to myself, Please be who I think this who I think it is!

“Hello”, I said.

“Hi Laura, its Wren. Remember me? I came to your house to pick up a check about two months ago.” Yes, I thought to myself, it's him!

“Yes, I remember. Hi.”

“Well listen, I just wanted to know if you’d like to go on a date with me. I know you never called me back, but…”

“What do you mean”, I said in a concerned voice, “I never called you back because I never got a call from you.”

“I left my number on the receipt, and just wanted to make sure everything was okay. It seemed like we really had chemistry.”

“I thought so too. And I’m sorry, I never looked at the receipt after you left. I just sat it on my dad’s desk. But now that I have your number, I don’t have to worry about finding it.”

“Oh, that's okay. Well, what do you say? Monday night, 8 o’clock?” Oh, that voice! I had never cared about men with accents, but Wren's accent was sexy, manly, and sweet all rolled into one.

“That would be nice. I’ll see you then. Byeeee,” I said, trying to hide the fact that I was over-the-moon excited. After I got off the phone, I went to find my dad to ask him about the receipt, one that could have gotten me a date with Richard weeks ago.

“Dad,” I said, after finding him in our home library reading a book. “Did you happen to find a receipt with a phone number… about two months ago?”

“By a matter of fact, Laura, I did. It was from Cozy Corner Books.”

“Yes dad, well why didn’t you give it to me?”

As it turns out, he thought I already knew about the cellphone number on the receipt, and as the good dad that he is, he ignored it and had trust in the decision I was going to make. How could I get made at that?

For the next couple of days I anxiously anticipated our first date and could not wait until October 6th when I'd finally get to see Wren again.

Next up: our first date...