Dearest Maya, Gianna, Ira, Arlet, Honor, Elaina, and Gabriella,
Being a mother is my most proudest title. With you and your brothers I feel complete and my best self. From the moment I knew of your existence I couldn't imagine my life without you. My girls. I knew what an honor and gift it would be to be your mother. But it is also scary and quite a tedious job, because I want to make sure I am raising you to be proper, modest, kind, smart, poised girls. And so it has been my heart's desire to guard your heart, protect it, and cherish it during all my days of motherhood.
You all give me a role that I am so grateful for. But who I am and the fact that I am a wife and mother would not have been possible without one thing: the fact that I am a woman. Being a woman is incredible and an honor (I'd much rather be a girl than a boy any day!) but it can also be scary and confusing, especially in today's world. Society is telling you to act one way, when it is actually better to act another way.
I have lived an incredible life, and in this life I have made incredible memories and also a whole bunch of mistakes, just like anyone. From those mistakes, though, have come life lessons and experiences that have made me the person I am today. I want you to know of them and how you should (try) and live your life so you will live your best life and be your best self. Because life is scary. But it's also wonderful. So wonderful that I want you to enjoy it.
And remember, I will always love you.
Love,
Mommy
P.S. Here are ten things I want you to know as you grow up. Things I wish I would of known as a child.
1. You are SO beautiful. Society is grooming children to feel like they need to look and act a certain way, but listen to your mother when I say this is not true. It does not matter what color your hair is, how tall you are, how much you weigh, etc., all that matters is that you are healthy and happy. Uniqueness is truly beautiful, and it is more appealing to stand out and not be stereo typical and the cookie cutter girl. Think about it this way: you are a rare gem in a sea of average diamonds and pearls. Cherish this.
2. Don't let anything stop you. This world is full of negativity, full of "do nots", and full of "no's." When you have a dream, chase it. When you want something, follow it. You will not always reach your goal or have everything you want, but at least you'll have memories and life experiences to learn from.
3. Girls are equal to boys. Take it from the person who was the only girl on her high school debate team. The only difference between girls and boys are our genders, and that shouldn't stop a girl from doing what a boy can do, or vice versa. Sure, maybe they're a little stronger, and maybe their voices are a bit deeper, but does that mean that you can't race a boy on your bicycle? Or win against a boy in basketball? No, it doesn't. Whatever your brothers can do, you can do.
4. Be creative. Nourish your individuality, personality, and interests. You are so unique that you should take charge of your opportunity to be different and rule the world with your beautiful, interesting, special personalities. And that is why your father and I are so keen on you girls participating in extracurriculars; because we know how unique you are and these activities only encourage and broaden your exposure to different areas of creativity. Art classes, music lessons, sport practices, and religion activities are a gift, trust me, and your exposure will follow you and be an important part of your life forever. When you feel like drawing, draw. When you feel like playing the piano, play. You are you- amazing, individuals, creative- and your father and I want you to be your best, most wonderful, unique selves.
5. Be proud of yourself. Take it from your mother, who has known you 100% of your life, you are incredible! There is nothing to be ashamed about being you. In your life you may face people who are negative and want to bring you down, whether it be because of your ethnicity or what you look like or other reasons, but you must not let them bother you. Do not take what they say to heart and only worry about what you think of yourself. There is NOTHING about you that you should be ashamed of; every detail, imperfection, and perfection about you is special and should be accepted because it makes you who you are. If you like writing stories, be proud. If you like playing with dolls, be proud. If you love math, be proud. As long as you are a nice, caring, rule-following person than you should not listen to the concerns of any other person and admire who you are.
6. Have a strong sense of self. Some might think this is the same as above, but to me it is different. Having a strong sense of self means being proud in your skin, but I want to touch deeper on this subject. The amazing thing about women is that we are all different, in looks and personality. Some girls and women have brown hair, others blonde, others red, etc. Some girls and women and short, others are tall. Some girls have pale skin, others dark, etc. But it is important not to pay attention and worry over your characteristics, as long as you are happy and healthy. Be proud of how you look and love your beauty just the same. Don't pay attention to the little imperfections about yourself or how others look because you are beautiful.
7. Balance everything in your life. With life comes a lot of responsibilities and things to deal with, especially as you get older. Family, school, work, church, extracurriculars, and more are all things you will have to deal with during your years on earth. That is a lot to deal with and you might get stressed here or there but it is important to balance everything in your life so you get the most of your life and everything important to you. Never spend so much time with your friends that you are neglecting your family. Don't spend all your time focusing on a sport that you are neglecting your faith. Remember what is important to you and what isn't as important. If you are not happy, take a look at your priorities and shift them around. Balance is the key to an organized, structured life.
8. Inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. Society is starting to focus more on the outside than the inside, but trust me when I say that that isn't true. Beauty doesn't just come on the outside, it is also on the inside. Your kindness, your soul, and how caring you are far outshines how you look on the inside. Are you giving back to your community? Are you being nice to everyone? Are you modest? Are you making good choices? Those are the things you should be worrying about; not how your makeup looks or if you can fit into size 2 jeans. Think about this: in 50, 60 years are you going to be wondering whether you were popular as a child OR are you going to wonder whether you were nice and did your part in society?
9. Be kind to others. I believe that if everyone could just be nice to each other than the world would be a better place. When there is negativity and rude, inconsiderate, hurtful behavior than tension and conflict arise and that is not good. A peaceful world is better than a problematic one, and the same goes for personalities: a peaceful personality is better than a problematic one. When you are kind to people, people are kind back. And even if they aren't, the feeling and satisfaction of being nice to someone is way more worth it. How does it feel when a mean person is rude? Not so nice, huh? So remember this: don't do the same to others. Be nice to strangers. Be nice to mean people you will encounter throughout your life. Be kind to your siblings. Be kind to everyone.
10. You will mess up; you will make mistakes; you are not perfect. Life is all about making mistakes and learning and growing. You will not always follow this list, you will not always make good choices, and you will not always make Mommy and Daddy happy. There will be tough times in your life and there will be smooth times in your life. You will have good days and bad days. Just make sure that you can look back on your bad experiences and know that you learned and gained something positive from them. You are not perfect, so neither will your life be perfect. I will always be your Mommy and I will always be here to help and support you. Don't ever doubt that. And remember, I will always love you.
I hope you look to this list as a reference as you grow up. You should feel as if it is an honor to grow up as a woman.
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